THE BAD DAYS
Although the good days are plentiful and bring with them good times and the fondest of memories, they simply cannot exist without the days when you are most alone. The days wherein a room full of friends, you feel most alone. These are the days that test you most when words struggle to leave your lips and your mind fills with sadness like a dark hole. It’s the days when everything hits you at once like a wave far out in the ocean. The bad days when all your demons simultaneously rage, and you are left at the wake of your own destruction, where all hope seems lost and you have nowhere to go but within. The feeling within, that nobody else can see or feel, the feeling of nothingness and despair. These are the days I fear most.
FACING THE BAD DAYS ALONE
These days do not announce themselves, they come when you least expect them, and they strike when you are at your lowest. Coming in waves, and when they come, they feel like an eternity. Where hours seem like days and days seem like months. Where you are drowning in the riptide of your own mind. With nobody but yourself to blame, and nobody but yourself to count on. These are the days we all face, while some face them more often than the rest.
I hope in these days where the light seems dim, and your thoughts are malicious, that you have someone who you can lean on. A metaphorical crutch that can help you to stand up again and face everything that is ahead of you. For a long time, I had someone who was always in my corner. Someone who helped me through the darkest of times. To that person, I say thank you, and although we are now on different paths, I wish you nothing but the best. I hope your journey is filled with love and light, and until we meet again, I must learn to tackle the bad days alone once again. To stand on my own two feet. And although I miss you terribly, I hope one day we will meet again.
A CERTAIN KIND OF SADNESS
It isn’t easy to say goodbye, no it is ripping me apart. Whilst I cannot find the words to express how I’m feeling, because I am unsure. Unsure of what is within and what is without. Truthfully, I became so accustomed to you, and all the good that came along with you. That now every little thing is hard without you. And I thought I was strong, but what I didn’t know was that my strength came from you. You taught me so much, and I will always be thankful for the time that we got to spend together. Thinking of you with a warm heart and only the fondest memories. You built me up and made me who I am today. Pulled me from the pits and pushed me into the light. Bringing about feelings within myself that I had never felt before, you did that.
TO SAVE MYSELF
Although I have thick skin and an elastic heart, this has been the single hardest thing I have ever had to face. To face it alone is even harder. But I know this too shall pass and there will be brighter days. For the time being, I will walk with this cloud over my head, and a heaviness in my heart. While I wait for better days once again, lost in my head as well as in my heart. Sometimes life’s a mess, but there is a beauty hidden in the chaos and in the memories we share. On the bad days, I often swim through the sea of memories and sit on melancholy hill. During the worst times, I remember the strength you taught me, and that’s how I get through the bad and get back to the good. Even though the good shines a little less without you in it.
YOU WERE A BLESSING
And although life, as well as circumstance, have come between us, I know this is not the end. For what brought us together was not tangible but made out of pure stardust. WIth a love undying and a rugged heart, I will always be there because what you have done for me, I cannot ever repay in full. Whilst the day bleeds into nightfall, and you slowly disappear, know that I miss you every day. The hole you left will remain empty because there isn’t anyone like you. And if I can hope, for one thing, is that you always shine like the diamond you are.
THE GOOD DAYS
The bad days, the worst of the worst, these are the days that truly help you to appreciate the good ones, to live in the moment, and take in that which is around you. Because without the bad days, the good cannot exist. The trick is, to find a balance between that which is good and that which is bad, and not let one overpower the other. To realize which you are experiencing, and to treat it accordingly. Although these four walls will never be the same, and neither will the one who resides within them. The goodwill return, no matter the storm you now navigate, sunshine remains on the horizon. Even in the darkest of times, you need only remember to turn on the light. And never forget the light that shines from within can be the brightest if you let it.